Michael Smerconish: 'Your-mamagate' doesn't cut it

8.6.09

By Michael Smerconish - Daily News
Philadelphia Daily News

Daily News Opinion Columnist

BEERS ASIDE, the nation is ill- equipped to move forward from the controversy involving Professor Henry Gates and police Sgt. James Crowley. That's because we never decided what to call it.

No universal moniker was adopted for the squabble that began on Professor Gates' porch. Which is unacceptable, especially on the 35th anniversary of the event that spawned a new chapter in our political lexicon. This week in 1974, Richard Nixon resigned in the wake of the break-in at the Watergate Hotel and the cover-up it spawned, giving rise to nicknames ending in "-gate." The Nixon legacy now includes a roadmap of American politics and pop culture.

President Obama has already given us Bittergate, the controversy born from his comment about "bitter" Pennsylvanians who "cling" to guns and religion when the economy sputters. On President George W. Bush's watch we had Plamegate, a rallying point for Iraq war critics.

And depending on whom you ask, Troopergate refers to the Arkansas state troopers who allegedly arranged sex dates for then-Gov. Bill Clinton, or to former Gov. Sarah Palin's alleged efforts to arrange the firing of an Alaska state trooper who divorced Palin's sister.

Potential Pennsylvania gubernatorial candidate Tom Corbett bolstered his resume by pursuing charges in Bonusgate, the scandal in which state legislators allegedly paid taxpayer funded bonuses to employees who worked on political campaigns.

The "gate" semantics extend beyond politics. Spygate refers to the New England Patriots' habit of videotaping opponents' signals. Former Temple men's basketball coach John Chaney perpetrated Goongate when he sent a "goon" (Chaney's word) into a game with instructions to throw his weight around.

Here are some naming ideas for the current controversy:

Gatesgate. Seems like a natural fit, but it puts the focus on Professor Gates more than on Sgt. Crowley or the president. Crowley-gate doesn't pass muster, either. And I have a hunch there will be better uses for Obamagate. Unfortunately, Crowley-Gatesgate just doesn't roll off the tongue, either.

Your-Mamagate. Not bad. A nice play on the most memorable alleged statement of the dust up. But since Professor Gates denied saying "I'll speak with your mama outside," Your-Mamagate probably doesn't quite work either.

Racegate. The popular choice if the phone lines in my radio studio are any indication. But while Racegate evokes the issue at the heart of what happened, it doesn't immediately call to mind Professor Gates and Sgt. Crowley. No doubt there are thousands of regrettable racially-tinged episodes in the country's history that could be accurately tabbed Racegate.

Brew-Hagate. Another obvious choice, but not quite right since it references the remedy - the beer summit - and not the controversy that preceded it.

Stupidlygate. No doubt the favorite of President Obama's political opponents. But while the commander-in-chief's belief that the Cambridge police "acted stupidly" exacerbated the controversy, it didn't set it off. And besides, Stupidgate sounds better than the word the president actually used, if only he'd dropped the "ly".

(Speaking of "stupidly," one of the best post-arrest marketing ideas I've heard involves producing a T-shirt tagged with the phrase, "I'm with stupidly." Couldn't you see that for sale on the Ocean City boardwalk?)

Recalibrategate. Another reference to the president's word choice in what we thought was the aftermath of the initial confrontation. But Recalibrategate might actually be more relevant than Stupidlygate.

As you can see, the problem with naming the events in Cambridge is the lack of a central element that captures the story. No one word defines what happened.

The episode and aftermath, which took place from Gates' house to the White House, is too extensive to pigeonhole.

Which is why, 35 years after the seminal "-gate," we should stick with tradition and let the location tell the story. So I'm going with Cambridgegate.

Listen to Michael Smerconish weekdays 5-9 a.m. on the Big Talker, 1210/AM. Read him Sundays in the Inquirer. Contact him via the Web at www.smerconish.com.